i've finally back!

today was a family day.
we had breakfast together, jay included.
then headed to SRC for jay's bowling com.
while waiting for it to start, we had a lil family activity going on.
JACKPOT.
cos i'm finally 18, so it's the first time we, as a family, went in and played.
fun, but gambling's bad.
everytime mummy gave me money to change and play, i was so tempted to keep it and put it in my bank later on!

then mummy won money, and gave me even more money.
so i went for lunch and a haircut with bernami and shay.
the most expensive haircut in my life! including everything.. -regretting.

so anyways, it doesnt look different.
jus a little shorter, layered it, with the sides much shorter.
it feels short, but yet it still looks long.
i jus hope my side wont start curling or something.
hmmm...
bernami coloured her hair. she's my older shorter sister now..
thank you..

then headed to club with bernami, while shay went back home.
was going to a chalet nearby bernami's home, so thought we give her a lift.
but in the end, cos it's my mum's company dinner, and i prolly wouldnt know anyone, mummy asked her along.
i'm so glad she came. she was like my only fren, only one i could talk to.
talked about plenty of stuff, with hiromi too, a jap girl who used to work in my mum's company.

something happened after bernami left, and hiromi couldnt stop crying.
it was kinda sad cos she was crying so bad.
she fell, and her cuts were pretty deep, and she felt really bad for spoiling the bbq.
so anyways we sent her to a clinic and i hope she's better.
i like talking to her, she's really sweet and nice, and she talks sense.
and she's been through so much.

so anyways, mummy asked me some stuff, but i told her nothing.
that everything was ok.
i didnt wanna lie, but it isnt a really good time for me to talk about it.
i dontwanna start being emotional and everything in front of my mum, it'll only make her worry.
i guess i'll only talk to her when i feel i'm strong enough to handle it, without feeling emotional.


my ring, the one i bought in hk, fell into the satay sauce.. ):
i was so sad, but mummy washed it for me.
and it's all fine now..


i'll be going over tmr, bringing lunch.
see you. (:

things havent been easy,
trying to make yourself feel so busy,
i may appear happy, sometimes overly happy,
but it's my only way to hide what i truly feel.

it's the time before i sleep, when i just let everything out.
it's much harder than what i thought it would be.